Leaving Home to Find Myself Again

Accepting the Perry Lakes job was not easy simply because it was the opportunity I had wanted.

I was still a husband and a father. Taking the role meant moving more than 2,700 kilometres away from Catherine and Jordan while they remained in Victoria initially.

For virtually my entire adult life I had never lived alone. I moved out of home at nineteen and moved in with Catherine. I had never known adulthood any other way. Eventually two became three, and family life became the rhythm around everything else.

Going to Perth meant discovering, for the first time in my adult life, what life looked like when it was just me.

I did not see that as running away from my family. I believed I needed to rebuild myself fully so I could become a better version of myself for them.

There was something else I wanted Jordan to see. As a father, I could tell my son not to be frightened of opportunities outside his comfort zone, but eventually children become old enough to notice whether their parents live the advice they give.

I wanted him to see me take a chance. Move across Australia. Back myself. Accept discomfort rather than let fear make the decision.

Living alone created challenges I had never thought about. I consider myself a capable cook, but cooking for one is very different from cooking for three. Shopping, portion sizes, leftovers and routine all change when there is nobody else at the table.

At the same time I was trying to continue losing weight. I could not move to Perth and replace family dinners with takeaway simply because nobody was watching. Part of the structure I had rebuilt was physical discipline, and living alone made that entirely my responsibility.

Shopping properly. Cooking properly. Portion control. Exercise. Routine. Not eating because I was bored or lonely. Not using a long workday as an excuse to abandon the progress I had made.

For years I had been comfortable taking responsibility for organisations and other people. Perth forced me to take responsibility for myself in a completely different way.

Body. Mind. Spirit. Career. Family.

The irony was that I went west believing the biggest challenge would be leading Perry Lakes Hawks. In some ways, the bigger challenge was learning to lead myself.

I packed.

I organised temporary accommodation.

I chose a laptop and monitor so I could be ready from Day One.

I exchanged emails with Kylie about the CEO announcement, the photo they would use and the significant Bendat court problem that had already become the Association's immediate operational headache.

Courts 1 and 2 were closed because of structural issues.

The NBL1 game scheduled around my arrival was postponed.

The Board still arranged an informal catch-up.

I drove west, and my family planned to fly over so their arrival would coincide with mine and they could help me get set up.

There is something psychologically useful about crossing Australia by road.

The change does not happen instantly.

Victoria does not disappear because an aircraft door closes.

You watch the country change.

Kilometres accumulate.

Familiar becomes unfamiliar gradually.

By 4 June I was in Perth.

I had a temporary place lined up at The Tide in Scarborough, which Kane had inspected on my behalf before I arrived, and I was due to collect the keys.

I emailed Kylie to say I had arrived and asked whether I should call into the stadium informally with my family or wait until I had properly met the Board.

I wanted to get started.

The first day was still several days away, but psychologically I had already begun.